April 9, 2009

13 weeks.

In 13 weeks (or less) Baby Bee will join our family. Littlebit, my sweet small Littlebit, will look like a giant and will no longer be the baby of the family. Tonight while putting Littlebit to bed, I had that pang of regret I had during my prengnacy with her; in questioning what exactly we had decided to do to our family.

In truth, when I was pregnant with Littlebit, the Princess was already 6. While I had those pangs of regret as my due date drew closer, I really didn’t worry much. I knew that the Princess’s time as a Mommy and Daddy’s girl was waning and that while she was resistant, Littlebit’s arrival was likely going to coincide with a natural pulling away. And, that’s been true. The Princess still likes spending time with us, still likes to talk with us and cuddle, but I see her moving outward now, as kids her age are wont to do and I’m glad for Littlebit’s closeness.

But, to be honest, I worry about Littlebit some as I consider the changes that are going to come with her. Up until June/July (when Baby Bee will be born) I have only had one little one at a time. When the Princess outgrew the ability to be carried by me, Littlebit came to fill my arms. When the Princess outgrew “Guess How Much I Love You” and “Goodnight Moon”, Littlebit came to read them to. In 13 weeks or less i will have another baby who will want and need those things and a toddler who will still want and need them too and I wonder how, exactly, I’m going to manage. I have two arms and two little kids, but I still seem deficient.

Littlebit is affectionate. Make no mistake, the Princess is too, but from the time she could crawl Littlebit would chase you down, implore to be picked up so she could hug and be hugged. She requires physical contact in a way that the Princess never did. Littlebit will do her thing, but she’s happiest touching; her back nestled up against your leg as she works on a puzzle, perched on the arm of your chair to watch t.v., gripping your finger in her hand as she moves through her day, tucking her head under your chin, insisting your rub her back.

The Princess seemed to request affection while Littlebit takes it in gulping mouthfuls and I wonder how I’m gong to find the balance to sustain her while there is another one who needs me so much. This is where the regrets come in. Are we doing Littlebit a disservice? Should we have waited another six months or another year?

I know in 13 weeks (or less) that we will find our way. That things will be probably difficult for all of us for a while. When Littlebit came, the Princess was old enough to understand that our divided attention wasn’t personal, it was just a symptom of our new baby and Littlebit, at not quite 3, won’t understand that. Littlebit will not be ignored and time will be made, not becuase we have to, but because we want to. Life wouldn’t be right without the love Littlebit gives and gets.

How did you make time for your Toddler/Young Preschooler while welcoming a new baby into the family??

The Biggest One, The Littlest One, The Middlest 3 Replies to “13 weeks.”


3 thoughts on “13 weeks.

    Author’s gravatar

    From the little bit that I have read your blog (I found you today through Organizing Junkie) it would appear that you are more than ready for life with new baby and toddler. I think that just the fact that you understand your childrens’ needs is a huge step in helping your little one adjust to life with baby. You sound like a fantastic mom! Best of luck to you! Becki

    Author’s gravatar

    It is hard at first. But Littlebit will get used to it. Our oldest had a hard time of it the first couple of weeks but he adored his little sister in no time at all. That hasn’t changed either. Even though they drive each other crazy at times they are the best of friends.

    Author’s gravatar

    Thanks so much for the encouragement. I know we’re going to make our way. I have no experience with children born so close together. The gap between the Princess and little bit is in excess of 6 years and I’m six and twelve years older than my siblings. I’m moving into uncharted territory and I’m a little bit nervous. ;)

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