1. Run away and join the circus.

Depending on the day, this is very attractive.  Big Daddy says he’ll hunt me down, but I call bullshit.  I don’t know what I would DO at the circus though.  No beard, not interesting appendages, not that flexible, not into heights or sticking my head into large carnivores mouths, so that’s probably out, but I like to think about it

2. Put the baby down to sleep over night on her tummy

I’m afraid of SIDS.  Really afraid.  Super afraid.  I was worse when the Princess was little.  Nearly hysterical. Now, I’m just passingly afraid, but scared enough that I won’t put Baby Bee to sleep over night on her tummy.  I wish I could.  She sleeps so well on her tummy.    So, instead of getting more sleep, but being afraid, I wwait with baited breath for the day that she starts rolling over so I can put her down to sleep peacefully on her tummy with less concern.

Not NO concern.  Just less.

3. Ban Football

I don’t hate football, per se.  It’s okay.  It’s really just a fall interlude to distract us on weekends before hockey comes on, but the reason I really don’t like football?  It screws up m DVR’ed shows.  I hate watching 45 minuts of “60 Minutes” and 15 minutes of “The Amazing Race” because the Raiders game ran over.

However, one thing I DO like about football is Brian Urlacher’s name.  I get great phonetic satisfaction out of saying his name and since you can’t just ru around yelling out “URLACHER!” in the summer, football season is a great excuse to do it.

4. Never have to do laundry.  Throw out dirty clothes and buy new

Not that i like new clothes or clothes shopping that much, I just hate doing laundry.  You could also add toilets and showers to the list because I don’t like cleaning them either.  Disposable toilets and showers would be so great.