1. Run away and join the circus.
Depending on the day, this is very attractive. Big Daddy says he’ll hunt me down, but I call bullshit. I don’t know what I would DO at the circus though. No beard, not interesting appendages, not that flexible, not into heights or sticking my head into large carnivores mouths, so that’s probably out, but I like to think about it
2. Put the baby down to sleep over night on her tummy
I’m afraid of SIDS. Really afraid. Super afraid. I was worse when the Princess was little. Nearly hysterical. Now, I’m just passingly afraid, but scared enough that I won’t put Baby Bee to sleep over night on her tummy. I wish I could. She sleeps so well on her tummy. So, instead of getting more sleep, but being afraid, I wwait with baited breath for the day that she starts rolling over so I can put her down to sleep peacefully on her tummy with less concern.
Not NO concern. Just less.
3. Ban Football
I don’t hate football, per se. It’s okay. It’s really just a fall interlude to distract us on weekends before hockey comes on, but the reason I really don’t like football? It screws up m DVR’ed shows. I hate watching 45 minuts of “60 Minutes” and 15 minutes of “The Amazing Race” because the Raiders game ran over.
However, one thing I DO like about football is Brian Urlacher’s name. I get great phonetic satisfaction out of saying his name and since you can’t just ru around yelling out “URLACHER!” in the summer, football season is a great excuse to do it.
4. Never have to do laundry. Throw out dirty clothes and buy new
Not that i like new clothes or clothes shopping that much, I just hate doing laundry. You could also add toilets and showers to the list because I don’t like cleaning them either. Disposable toilets and showers would be so great.