October 12, 2011

The Beginning…

So, I might not be cut out for home renovations.  The two days the floor installers were here totally messed up my flow.  I didn’t even post a menu plan this week!

However, I am in LOVE with how pretty the house looks.  As soon as we install the baseboards, I’ll be sharing pictures.  Can’t wait.

Usually, October is a sad month for me.  I know that seems strange, considering my love for Fall and how much I’m into Christmas, but it was in October all those years ago that Cancer knocked on our door and decided it was my Mom’s turn to fight.

And she’d lose the battle.

But usually, October would ring in with me feeling unsettled.  That’s actually a nice way to describe the fact that my anxiety would skyrocket and my depression would flare up.  Usually, by mid-October, I’d be back to taking my meds and trying to figure WTH happened and then I’d put it all together.  October.  Tumor. Surgery. Beginning.

For some reason, this year, October and the twin spectors of Cancer and Anxiety aren’t plauging me.  I have no explanation other than the fact that I told the anxiety to eff off and I told Cancer that it was going to have to pay me rent if it wanted to spend more time living in my head.

In any case, the heaviness has been absent from this month and it gave me the opportunity, the first in years, to remember that October didn’t used to be sucha  dark, dreary sad month for me.

In October 1998, Big Daddy flew from Chicago to Detroit to have lunch with me.  Although we’d been talking on the Internet for months (since May) it was our first face to face meeting and I was, well, anxious(surprise!).

A week later, Big Daddy and I met halfway, in Kalamazoo.  On Sweetest Day weekend.  He took me out for dinner (Olive Garden.  He thought he was slumming it).  I remember watching Big Daddy in my rear view mirror as I drove away on Sunday.  I knew that I’d move heaven and earth to be with him.

We were married nine months later.

We celebrated our 12 year Anniversary this past July.

When I wake up in the morning, I can’t wait to roll over and find him there.  All warm and drowsy from sleep.  When I go to bed at night, I can’t  waitto curl up next to him with my head on his shoulder and my arm flung across his chest.  My dearest hope is that I always feel that way.  Every morning and every night.

Big Daddy 2 Replies to “The Beginning…”


2 thoughts on “The Beginning…

    Author’s gravatar

    I love all of your stories about you and Big Daddy! You two have the sort of relationship most people just dream about. It melts my heart. <3

    I loved the line, too, about cancer paying rent. You are such a strong woman, and an inspiration to me!

      Author’s gravatar

      Thanks, Allison. We’re lucky.

      I often wish I could give people advice on how to make it work like we do, but it’s not possible. I think we just got lucky when we mixed him with me.

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