What a Week

Ya’ll I don’t even have a word or collection of words for the past seven days. I’ve felt like I’ve been hit by the flu or a really bad hang over. I’ve been listless. Cranky. Grumpy. I’d say I couldn’t wait for this year to be over, but I can wait for this year to be over.

I’ve wanted to write about the election a lot. I’ve sat down here and started and gotten no place, which is pretty much par for the course for me with the election in general. I have so much to say that I can’t even find a starting point. I start off and it goes okay and then I drive it right off the rails. Honestly, a week later and I still don’t know what to say.

I do know that people feel in crisis. I do know that people are laughing at those people. I know that people are upset that, yet again, the popular vote and electoral college don’t line up. I know that people think those people are being sore losers and and yet aren’t being good winners. I’ve reminded my family that we’ll be just fine. Our tax liability will go down a little bit. We may even see a drop in our insurance premiums and we are in the lucky position that we are able to provide things to our family that others have relied on the government to provide. I’m worried about how increased military spending will affect my school’ ability to provide free lunch to the 500+ students who receive it (because money gotta come from somewhere. You actually just can’t print more).I’m worried about people losing their insurance, even though I understand that premiums are beyond redic. I’m worried that my mantra; everyone fed, everyone safe, everyone healthy, everyone educated, is slipping further and further away (and, yes, I mean everyone). I’m worried because while my mantra is to love, love, love, I haven’t felt very damn loving.

Probably because I’m mad, stressed and worried like so many other people. Chances are you’re at least one of those, too, and I’m not being morose when I say I just don’t know how to fix that. For a long time, I believed our differences weren’t that great. I thought things weren’t insurmountable and that we did want the same sorts of things, we just had different ideas on the ways. I don’t feel that way right now.

I’m not going to say inflammatory things about the President Elect. I feel them, but I’m not saying them. I will say I am more convinced than I was prior to the election that he is supremely unqualified and thanks to the rumblings surrounding his probable appointments, I’m even more nervous than I was before the election, which is saying.

Early Wednesday morning, I posted a line from Hamilton “The sun come up and the world still spins”. And it does. I’m trying to take the positives and find the bright spots, which can be hard when there feels like there is so much to be done. My election fatigue continues on. 2018 is not very far away.