Weird year. From bell to bell. I’m suspicious about 2017. I keep looking at it like you like at the person in your house who didn’t get the stomach flu when everyone else had the stomach flu and you just keep waiting for them to say “Oh, I don’t feel good” because you know it’s coming, but maybe it’s not coming and you feel like you can’t live your life?
That’s where I’m at. How about you?
It’s so weird, because this is the first New Year in a very long time when I wasn’t looking forward to the fresh start. I LOVE fresh starts. I like the beginning of things so much. I like new bottles of shampoo, new jars of lotion, new lip glosses. I like the start of summer vacation and the start of school and the start of the new year. But, not this year. It’s been weird for me. I usually hit January by throwing out crap and feeling a huge burst of creativity. Not this year. I think I spent a lot of time this past year feeling like the rug was constantly being pulled out from under me. And I don’t just mean regarding the election. I mean, overall.
There’s been this huge push on-line of “Some dead celebs don’t make for a bad year”. That’s true. But that wasn’t what it is. Yeah, it sucks that Prince, Gene Wilder, Carrie Fisher, George Michael and Alan Rickman died (plus, like 100+ other people who achieved varying degrees of celebrity) but that’s not why 2016 felt so shitty. My anxiety and depression weren’t as well controlled. We had Money Stress! We had family stress. Atlas hasn’t outgrown his giant puppiness yet. We had to adjust to Big Daddy’s increased travel. Autism was hard this year (and continues to be hard at this writing). The election sent me into a tail spin. Not because I need a safe space (and stop with that joke. It’ not funny and it makes you sound like an asshole) but because I felt like thing I thought were true or supposed were true ended up not being true. And, some things I hoped weren’t true turned out to be true.
In the midst of this, my blog post took off and it left me kind of at…well…loose ends (I had to). I have occasional blog crises and I had another one. I might still be having one. I’ll probably have another one at some point in time. But here I am. Good luck in the New Year?