Author: Jamie

May 21, 2020


I weeded half of the front flower beds today. It was beautiful and warm and the sun was behind the house and I told Baby Bee to put some damn clothes on and out we went. She immediately picked a thistle with her gardening gloves on the wrong way, so she left me to my […]

May 4, 2020

My mother’s daughter

Tomorrow makes thirteen years since my Mom slipped away from this universe and found herself in whatever comes next. She said, some days before as she was slipping from this world already and into the next, that Grandma told her she would fly as high as the ladybugs. We had no idea of knowing that […]

April 23, 2020


Once upon a time, twenty-one years (give or take a few) I entered into a change in life. I was young and naive, like most 22 year olds are, and I’d be a mother in seven month. I didn’t know a lot as I faced down the chasm that separated me from girlhood and childhood […]

March 27, 2020


I smelled woodsmoke today and my heart leapt in my chest because it smelled like you on the wind. Every now and then I find myself caught unawares and the creak of a chair or the scent of brewed coffee finds me straining for you. The footsteps that come next. The slam of the front […]

March 15, 2020


My friends who have been here have said it will be a year before I’m back on my feet again and these waves of emotion; pain, fear, sorrow will ebb. Some sources say six months. Some places say I will need six months for every year I gave you to fully recover. Eleven years. I […]

March 13, 2020


I can’t quit thinking about the things we won’t do. Some poignant and some stupid. We won’t be the longest ones dancing at weddings when they hold the dance for married couples. We won’t be buried side by side. Wife may not be in my epithet. We won’t babysit our grandchildren together. We won’t have […]

March 12, 2020


I let you go in increments. The handfuls of you that I gripped so close to my heart. I peel open a finger, just half way and watch the bits of you slip out the hole.  I know it won’t be long until my palm is open and the shards of you will blow about […]

March 10, 2020


Once upon a time I told you everything. Everything that made me laugh or made me mad or made me cry. And, you were there with your bright eyes and you would smile and everything would be all right.  But, you say that we did it all wrong. That I didn’t listen or respond to […]

July 9, 2019


Today, Big Daddy and I have been married for twenty years. That is a crazy sentence. I’m going to write it again. Today, Big Daddy and I have been married for twenty years. In the time leading up to today, I’ve thought about what I’d write here because I have tended to write here when […]

June 12, 2019

People, let me tell you ’bout my best pen!

Let’s lay it all down. I love stationary. I always have. No kid really looks forward to the end of summer, but when a whole paper grocery bag of brand new school supplies were coming my way, I maybe didn’t mind so much. I remember being 8 and falling in love with a particular perforated […]

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